We're too good to be alive

     I will die someday, because I am human.
And when I die, I don't want to be sober when it happens. Tobacco, alcohol, weed, cocaine, oxaycotin, hydro, LSD, heroin, meth, anything. I don't want to be in my right mind when it happens. I don't want to be in reality when it happens. I don't want to be in reality ever. No one deserve to be strapped into the eternal, indiscriminate, immoral stretching rack that is reality.
     Who has honestly woken up from a dream, hell, even a nightmare, and said "You kno what, being awake is better than that!"  No. No one. No fucking one in the entire history of people who want to be dead (everyone) has anyone not wanted to fall asleep, to smoke one more bowl, to snort one last line, to mainline one last time.
     All of society is too forget reality. You work a job you hate so you can buy things you don't need to make sure you don't realize how shitty your life is because once you do you will sell everything and lay down in the public park to die and have you corpse feasted upon by the toddlers that bound so haplessly throught the pristine blades of grass quiet unaware of how much suffering they will face in their next 70 years.

     I want a wife. I want her to be exactly like me. That way, we never have a kid. That way they never end up eating their own father while playing in the park.

     I want kids, someday, though. I even know what to name the first of either gender. There will be Lucy Gomez, her name as sweet and thin as she is. And then Rick Gomez, named for my uncle, but not because he is great, because he is a giant piece of shit.

     I wish I understood society so I could hate it. With my drug addict wife.

     I wish I had some drugs to wash this reality down with.